At Khan Therapy LLC, the foundation of being your best self lies in these four principles:
K - Kindness
H - Hope
A - Authenticity
N - Now
KINDNESS
Too often, we know how to be kind to others. Yet somehow that kindness escapes ourselves. Have you noticed how harshly you speak to yourself? Do you degrade yourself? Do you get mad at yourself when things go wrong? Do you constantly judge yourself?
Pause for a moment - and ask yourself: Has this ever helped me to do better or feel better?
You will see that the answer is likely no - being mean to ourselves is not the answer.
The solution is bringing kindness to yourself - treating yourself with love and care always.
When things go wrong or you make a mistake, try to speak kindly to yourself instead and see how quickly you recover. It gives you the strength to bounce back after a fall, rather than staying stuck in self-hatred. Instead of labeling yourself with awful characteristics (ie failure, loser, worthless, etc), you will note what happened and figure out how to move forward.
We live in a society that pulls us to work, to give, to produce, etc. Our worth gets wrapped in what we can do. We are surrounded by shoulds, musts, rules to follow. Stereotypes placed on us try to make us behave in ways that may not be us. All of these factors means we lose touch with what we need and how to be kind to ourselves.
By peeling away all of these demands and expectations, we can figure out how to be our best by taking true care of ourselves. When we bring kindness to ourselves, we can be better to our loved ones, we excel on our pursuits, and live by our values we choose.
When was the last time you asked yourself, "What do I need today?" - Do this for yourself. Grant yourself the kindness you deserve.
HOPE
Without hope, there is nothing ...
You must believe that something better is out there.
Yes, it is hard in moments when everything feels that it is falling a part. Yes, the pain and hurt may be overwhelming. Yes, you may feel like you tried everything on your own.
But this is where you may need some guidance or some help. And maybe trying therapy could be that first step on your path to hope.
Think back to times you were really down or hopeless in the past - did you stay there? or did things shift? No feeling last forever.
Even if things continue to be hard - try to think of the smallest moment that may remind you that hope is possible again.
I always say, I don't know how it will work out but somehow it does ... And having worked with hundreds of clients, I have witnessed this over and over: people getting better and creating the life they only dreamed of. It is inspiring to be witness to seeing this.
AUTHENTICITY
To be who you are is the greatest freedom you can have. Being authentic means to me that you get to choose who you want to be. Instead of being defined by society or family or stereotypes, you get to decide who you are, how you want to live and what values are important for you.
Too often we are unhappy because we are living someone's else life or expectations. This ultimately does not serve you nor them. Living fully authentically in such an oppressive world is the true rebellion of conformity. To be brave enough to be yourself is a powerful experience.
In therapy, it is not my job to tell you how to live but instead to help you examine yourself. By building an awareness of your thoughts, emotions, values, conflicts, dreams, and hopes, you will come to find what is meant for you - your own path. I cannot say enough how beautiful it is when someone comes into their own authentic self and their symptoms of anxiety and depression melt away.
NOW
When is the right time to start? NOW.
Most of the time we feel stuck. We go over and over in our minds all of our problems and flaws. We may be not living the life we want, unable to reach our goals or even unable to get out of bed. We are frozen.
The answer to move forward is to start NOW - even in the most simplest ways. Do not wait until things are perfect or you are "fixed." Begin right NOW ...
Even as you read this - think of what one little step you will do. This step would be best if it was an act of kindness to yourself. Either way, take a moment to do something good for you.
Often times, we are worrying about the future or regretting the past. But wisdom from many traditions discuss the importance of the present moment - what are you doing right NOW to make your life better?
Summary
Dr. Khan invites you to infuse kindness, hope, and authenticity NOW into your life. Every single human on this earth deserves this opportunity.
If you need help with how to do this, please contact Dr. Khan at drkhan@khantherapy.com.
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